Friday, December 25, 2009

So it Goes...


Okay, well things before October 13th were a bit rough for me. I had originally given up on the concept of love. Believing it was quite the frivolous concept, and that it was merely the search of finding one compatible to deal with your downfalls as an individual. I was content with being single feeling maybe that was what I needed in life. I was always the guy who wanted relationships, and the guy who always looked for the long-term deals. Never was I one to use a person for the act of meaningless sex, or possessions. I always did what I could for the one's I cared for. I always broke my back, and even tortured myself at times to do what I could to see them happy. I would much rather see someone happy then myself the majority of the time. I am not saying I am a saint nor that I am the perfect individual. I know damn well I have made my mistakes and created meaningless arguments, been ugly or rude when unnecessary. I am stubborn, hard headed, and a bit foolish at times. I mislead woman and slung around the phrase "I love you" merely to make them happy. Not once till now have I ever felt it and meant it. I am merely saying I try for many to be able to say that is a stretch. Essentially I am saying I merely gave up on a lot of things. On October 13th I met someone I found of extreme interest. I was neither looking nor did I want to find anyone, but it was something that just happened. We had never really met on a personal level. Just caught each others eye on a glimpse maybe a little more then a year before. No real words exchange or any type of communication. We happen to talk and decide to meet. Little was known of each other nor did we have any expectations of one another. The night came and went as quick as a blink. It was absolutely one of the best dates I have ever been on. What was usually felt with awkward moments was filled with conversation, laughter, and beautiful smiles. We both agreed we didn't want the night to end, but it had to. I couldn't wait for the next available chance at just saying "hello". From then on it is hard to describe with words what exactly happened. I drifted into what was unknown to me. I fell in Love for the first time I can say in my life. I have never had anyone make me so happy in my entire life. I've felt and experience so many new things with this woman its hard to explain. Every time I see her there is a smile, a kiss, and a hug waiting for her. From which all come from my heart. Some may say its to quick to slow down, and to take it easy. I don't wanna do any of that. I want to take it for what it is as it is. Why slow down something that appears to be so beautiful and perfect? Fear is the only factor. I shall not fold under such circumstances. I will give it my all. Love with all my heart, and fight for it to work because for once in my life everything feels Just right. Angie if you read this.... I love you...

2 comments:

  1. I love my Michael.
    Everything about you! You make me smile everytime I see you. I love your hugs & kisses. You are my sunshine, my everything. I love you. I love you. I love you.
    arge

    ReplyDelete
  2. Woops accidently posted with your account...

    ReplyDelete

My Eulogy -

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somewhere, Texas, United States
I am nothing, and yet I can be everything. I stand tall with barriers and armor built with paper mache. I am aggressive and yet I am quite passive. My job doesn't match my persona. Proof that ones job doesn't define an individual. I am a realist in nature, and perceived as a pessimist. The glass isn't half empty nor is it half full. It simply is as it sits. I hate the ideals of conformity. Be an individual and a free spirit. Not a mindless reality TV driven drone on endless proportions. Do not fall into the masses. I sometimes fall into self destructive patterns simply to push and pull at my emotions. There is no rhythm or reason to why. Simply put it helps me feel alive. I write and draw with no specific purpose. I enjoy reading books, and watching films that pull at every emotion. The kind that brings the slightest chill to your neck. I am not self proclaimed to being special. I have objectively different standards in life that at times others seem its hard to live up to. I question everything with "why" simply put to find intent. Its probably easier to try and not figure me out. You'll become lost in Translation.